Shame and Guilt as Motivators

Too often people use shame and guilt as motivators.  Advertising, work, relationships and religion.  I see this big time in Christianity.  How often is this used, especially when talking about sexuality?  People often shame other church members to show others what will happen if they dare to step outside the bounds.  Do people motivated by shame and guilt act any better?  I don't think they do.  I think they simply have more guilt about their transgressions.
The purity movement is built on shame and guilt tactics.  Don't have sex because you WILL get pregnant, get an STD and have lifelong emotional scars.  Do these things happen every time?  Of course not.  Shame and guilt usually leads into people needing to lie.  In this example, condoms don't work, you will have marriage problems if you don't go in as a virgin, and you will always compare your current partner to your past partners.  Of course, these things are not true most of the time.  Am I trying to defend more liberal sexual attitudes?  Not really, just trying to point out that shame and guilt can lead to dishonesty.
Another example, in some churches they will tell people that one sip of alcohol will cause them to become alcoholics.  In the majority of cases this is untrue.  One sip of alcohol means you are one sip drunk.  How silly.  I think the motivation is just to guilt people into believing that one sip of alcohol is going to ruin your life.  Truth is, most people can enjoy a drink or two and not hurt themselves or others in the process.  Do people abuse alcohol?  For sure.
I guess the point I am trying to make here is that there is always a potential for bad things to happen when doing, well, almost anything.  Shaming people by producing and instilling guilt is effective in the sense that sometimes people will be afraid and form unhealthy attitudes, which will keep them from said activities.  Other times, it just makes people feel lousy and doesn't change them at all.  If someone is doing something truly harmful how likely are they to reach out in an environment where theses tactics are used?  Wouldn't they be more likely to hide and continue these things in private?  It tears people apart emotionally and mentally.
Yes, there are things that are wrong that people should be discouraged from.  This is not about that.  Maybe it is time that we were open and honest about things.  Stop making up lies to scare people.  Be honest about the mistakes people make, including yourself.  People should be shown the positives to a certain way of living rather than convincing them that their reputation and self worth completely depend on it.  People that are willing to change should be commended rather than held up as nothing more than scare tactics.  There is a time for talk about negative consequences but most people don't need more shame, guilt and lies tacked on.